Trusting God When Things Don’t Go Your Way

November 18, 2015

The last six weeks have been such a joy for me as I have had the privilege of being a group leader at a Women’s Bible Study at my church. Each week was such a special time of refreshment to my soul as I had the opportunity to meet with other women to study God’s Word, worship, and fellowship together. Then last night it happened. The same mountain I’ve been around time and time again in my journey with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity became a reality. Chemicals got in the way of me being able to attend my Women’s Bible Study. When I showed up in preparation for the meeting, some new flooring had been installed on the stage that was highly toxic to me. The smell permeated not just the auditorium where our meeting was to be held, but all the hallways throughout the building. My heart sank. I had to leave the church building immediately to protect my health. Once again, I felt like I had been banished from a church I love dearly.

I went home and sat in my living room in shock. I sat there stunned, as I couldn’t believe this was happening to me again. My husband and I have had to change churches five times in our 28 years of marriage due to remodeling in church auditoriums that was toxic to me. I pray that this is not going to be the outcome again. The hard thing about Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is that there is no formula to figure things out. I have no idea if the floor will outgas in one month, six months, a year or longer. I once again feel like I am ”out in the wilderness” just like the children of Israel who wandered for forty years before they got to the Promised Land. They lived in tents, with no sense of permanence in their lives. That is a tough place for anyone to be. As humans, we all desire a sense of belonging and stability.

What should my response be? Well, my emotions in the last 24 hours have been all over the map. I have felt intense sadness, along with a bit of anger and confusion as to why God is allowing this again. I told my husband last night, I know from past experience that the key is surrender. I must surrender to God’s will and plan no matter what happens. I know the promises in the Bible to be true. God is faithful and God will work out all things for my good (Romans 8:28). I recall the words of the hymn, Trust and Obey by John H. Sammis that say, “Trust and obey, for there is no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.” Could it be as simple as that? I know I need to have childlike faith and surrender to God, knowing He is God and I am not. Even though I don’t know if and when I will be able to enter my church safely again without becoming ill from chemical exposures, I will embrace this time in the “wilderness,” knowing my loving God will see me through.

 

 

 

 

 

Categories Uncategorized | Tags: | Posted on December 3, 2016

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